Summer '05

Now this is what I call spending the summer! I and my friends just got from the beach and I really had a blast! : ) We partied, drank, swum, sunbathed, played volleyball, rode the banana boat, had henna tattoo, of course, danced, etc. I think the only thing I didn't do is smoke that weed that one of my new friends is passing around. Well, I was really thinking of smoking it but I just feel good about myself not giving in to that temptation after all. I just hope I'll be consistent in those kinds of temptations 'coz sometimes giving in seems to be a great option even if it's just not. Anyway, I also met new friends there and that made my stay even better. : ) We're actually planning to go back next month and I'm pretty excited about it. I hope it'll push through. : )

Preparing For My "Lucy"

I just watched 50 First Dates again and, watching it for around 5th time, it still gives me that feeling of happiness and excitement. I don't really know why but it even struck me even more this time. It's really a great movie to watch again especially in summer time. It makes you wanna fall for someone again. I wonder when will I fall for someone again. Yeah, I can really say I'm really excited for my next relationship. Recently, I've had some tough times with friends and some people I care about. It's really hard dealing with things sometimes and at first, I get that urge of doing something wrong or not worth while like what some people would do. They choose to go to party a lot, message people to flirt with, go to their liberated friends and get laid, etc. Well, for me, I guess prayers really work. God did guide me and helped me condition my mind not to be impulsive and be strong in those temptations of being so carefree. He helped me to reflect on things and learn from them. He helped me become a brother to a girl who doesn't value herself instead of being an opportunist. God helped and is helping me how to prepare for what He has in store for me in the future. That's why I'm excited about my next relationship. It's really a miracle how He have helped me and I just hope I'll be more consistent in what He wants me to do from now on. In the frivolous side: It's summer and I'm gonna go to the beach soon. I wonder if I'll meet my "Lucy" there... : ) one thing is for sure... I'm gonna have real keen eye! : )

An Unwanted Decision

Just three days ago, I found myself in a very tight situation. It all started when I decided to audition in a prestigious solo dance competition in TV. Out of around 80 who auditioned that day, I was included to the 4 dancers who passed. I really have a passion for dancing and I felt so good passing the audition. And the day they came when I had to sign a contract for the competition. My hopes were high until I heard that the rehearsals can be as tough as from 10 am - 1 am of the next day. Some of the people there even said our rehearsals can go on ‘til 5 am. I started feeling sad and asking the other dancers if I should continue. They all said that this is once in a lifetime opportunity and I shouldn't let this slip away. They even said I have a great chance of winning this competition. After hearing them, I stood firm and stayed with them and signed the contract. I continued my thinking and thought that my studies will really suffer, my parents will be mad at me and they will not, for sure, give me my everyday allowance if I continue, and so many other things to consider. I felt that I still have an obligation to my parents and that is to finish my studies. We are about to go to the dance guru that would train us that time and our handler asked me again if I wanna continue. She asked me 3 times before I made that very tough decision. I turned down the contract. Everybody, even the ones I don't know were shocked and were telling me I made the wrong decision. They were telling that I really have a great chance in the competition. But I made up my mind. I walked back to my car shocked and feeling so down. From that day ‘til yesterday I felt so sad. I felt that I have lost a lot; the group of friends I should've had; that once in a lifetime experience; the chance of being successful in what I really love to do; the opportunity I have always waited. This decision was kind of new to me… a decision that gave me a really hard time to make and after doing it even tormented me. It’s really hard to take. Nevertheless, with the help of benign people around me and with God's guidance, I finally got over it choosing to live my life to the fullest. A part of me may still be sad but I know that's only because the fruits of my decision is still in the pretty far future... and I know, that fruit is gonna be sweeter than the upshot of the other decision. The best things for me are yet to come and I'm gonna live my life preparing for them.